be the change you want to see

Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?

i teach for the kids not seen and for the truths untold

Because two things can be true – it’s called perception

When using them as a weapon it’s call perspective.

I choose to see through many eyes, love a love that can love colorblind

See where you at and affirm the facts

That-perception is reality

Just because I don’t see like you there is no sentence

The mhmm’s and yeahs an honorable mention.

I can be more than one thing at varying degrees

Because it’s all 360

Just let me dream

To be the change I wanna see

When we’re all cackling at the same joke.

Grandmother’s Table

Chapter One

She pulled over at the front of her house. It was raining, that misty light rain showering the sidewalk. The back window was rolled down, so that Kobe, her four year old Labradoodle, could hold his head out the window.

She had to finish this text. She would send it, he would think she was crazy, say “Okay” or maybe put up some resistance. But ultimately he would leave. She’d tested him enough. If he couldn’t get past her whirlwind of thoughts, emotions and high expectations, how could he manage the father of her children?

Ahmad would have to believe her. He would have to trust her, if they were to ever have anything more. Taliah couldn’t help but push him away, so she tapped away…

I feel like I wanna end things with us. I am so triggered by small things. When I’m with you things are so awesome then after a few days I’m anxious. This could be for many reasons, but would primarily include the marriage I was in. That’s why I have gone back to therapy.

Nonetheless, I thought that aspect of feelings would go away this second time around with you. I felt I could handle this type of relationship with you. And really I can’t. So, I find myself in the same space as before.

You have been so patient and gracious with me. How I behaved at the party was very embarrassing. And at the same time reminded me of how I was treated for many years. I felt like I became the person who hurt me so badly.

Is this dramatic? Yes, but my feelings be so strong. Anyways, you’re living the single childless life and it’s like your friend said…I have baggage. It doesn’t feel like baggage to me since everyone has some, but I get it. I can’t do the limbo thing with you, even though that’s what people do nowadays. It’s stressful and as much as I want you, I don’t want to be stressed. Maybe I’m archaic and an anti-feminist but this is not for me. This literally makes me feel crazy.

Should she send it? Before he had cancelled their plans together, Taliah was already on edge. These guys were either crazy, ridiculous or boring. Dating felt like being greased up with Aquafor and pushed down a 100ft metal slide. Just today, she dropped two serial texters within the last four hours.

But she felt better now. Maybe she’d save the message and talk to him about her feelings later. Ahmad had a rough day and since he’d told her that he’d be out of touch the next few days, she saved it in her notes and texted,

Hope you have a better night.

She felt like a dumbass.

perfect space

You get to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?

It is a hole in the wall

Gently adorned with what nots

Furnished with finds from a vintage shop

Perfumed with aromatic notes and fabuloso

Kept by a brown skinned woman

Who started from the bottom

And now she’s here.

me over everything

What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take — but haven’t been able to?

I’ve chosen myself over most things. I say most because it was by force and circumstance.

Now I’m learning to choose me when there is no adversary and pressure.

To risk choosing me out of love and not lack has been one of the hardest things to do.

I have dedicated most of my life to service. Service to god, family, community, friends, romantic relationships…

I want to-want to, choose me over everything.